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Grief and loss

What grief can feel like after a death or other loss, what is normal, what helps, and when to get help.

What grief is

Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something important to you. Most often it follows a death.

Grief can also follow other losses. These include the end of a relationship, losing a job or home, or a loved one becoming seriously ill.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person, family and community grieves in its own way.

What grief can feel like

Feelings can come and go, and may appear without warning. They can feel chaotic, but for most people they become less intense over time. You may feel:

• Shock or numbness, as if you are in a daze
• Deep sadness, with a lot of crying
• Tiredness or exhaustion
• Anger at the person, at others or at the reason for the loss
• Guilt about things you said or did not say
• Lonely or cut off from others

Things that can help

Grief cannot be rushed, but these steps can make it easier to carry:

• Talk about your feelings with a friend, family member, health worker, counsellor or someone you trust in your community.
• Consider peer support, where people who have been through loss help each other.
• Be active if you can. It can lift your mood and help you sleep.
• Eat regular meals to keep your energy steady.
• Set small, easy goals. Do not try to do everything at once.
• Try not to use alcohol, drugs or gambling to numb the pain. They can make things harder.

When grief does not ease

For most people, grief becomes less intense with time. For some, it stays very strong for many months or years. This is more likely after a sudden or traumatic death.

Signs that grief may need extra support include:

• Sadness or guilt that does not ease as the months pass
• Thinking about the person who died most of the time
• Finding it very hard to accept the death
• Not being able to return to everyday activities
• Thoughts of suicide

When to get help

Get help if you are struggling to cope or your mood has been low for more than two weeks. Get help, too, if what you are trying is not helping.

Get help too if your grief feels stuck or is getting worse over time. A counsellor can listen and support you through it.

If you or someone else is in danger right now, use the crisis numbers on this page or call 999.

You can use Tymira Care Finder to find a counsellor, clinic or other support near you or online.

General information, not a diagnosis or medical advice. A professional can talk through what's right for you. Reviewed 2026-11-01.

Sources

• NHS: Grief after bereavement or loss
• WHO: Stress (questions and answers)

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