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Helping someone you are worried about

How to support a friend, partner or child who is struggling, what to say, looking after yourself, and what to do in an emergency.

Noticing something is wrong

Someone close to you may seem different. They may be withdrawn, very low or irritable, or no longer enjoy things they used to.

Changes in sleep, eating or alcohol use can also be signs that someone is struggling.

You do not need to be an expert to help. Caring and listening can make a real difference.

Starting the conversation

There is no perfect thing to say. These tips can help:

• Choose a quiet time and place where you will not be rushed.
• Say what you have noticed and that you are worried. For example: you seem low lately, how are you really?
• Let them talk at their own pace. Ask open questions that need more than a yes or no.
• Listen without judging or rushing to fix things.
• Thank them for telling you. Opening up can be a big step.
• Keep treating them as you normally would.

Practical support

Ask what would help, as everyone's needs are different.

• Offer practical help, such as with shopping or chores.
• Offer to go with them to an appointment.
• Spend ordinary time together, like cooking, walking or watching a film.
• Gently encourage them to see a health worker or counsellor, but do not force them.
• Check in regularly to see how they are.

If it is a child or teenager

It can be hard to tell normal teenage moods from something more serious. Look out for ongoing low mood, tearfulness, irritability, losing interest, pulling away from others or poor sleep.

Be honest that you are worried, and tell them you are there when they want to talk. Avoid constant direct questions, as these can make them feel threatened.

Let them choose who to talk to, such as a health worker, family friend or school counsellor. Try not to blame yourself.

If you are worried about suicide

It is okay to ask someone directly if they are thinking about suicide. Asking does not make them act on it. It often helps them feel understood.

Warning signs include talking about ending their life, saying no-one would miss them, saying goodbye, or giving away things they value.

If you think someone is in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. If you live with them, make sure they cannot reach things they could use to harm themselves.

If you or someone else is in danger right now, use the crisis numbers on this page or call 999.

Looking after yourself and getting help

Supporting someone can be upsetting and tiring. Make time to rest and do things you enjoy.

Share how you feel with someone you trust. You can also talk to a counsellor yourself.

You can use Tymira Care Finder to find a counsellor, clinic or other support near you, or online, for them or for you.

General information, not a diagnosis or medical advice. A professional can talk through what's right for you. Reviewed 2026-11-01.

Sources

• NHS Every Mind Matters: Helping others
• NHS: Worried about your teenager?
• WHO: Suicide (questions and answers)

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